A Lack Thereof

Since I have moved, I haven't gone to bed before midnight.  This morning I woke up with a sore throat.  Go figure.

Introductions

I have met so many names.  Just names.  And I can't help but wonder which of those names will become important to me.  Which name will be at the top of my message list?  Which name will know me by my wet hair and love of butterflies rather than my year in school?  Which name will wonder about my day and not just my class schedule?  Which name will spark my interest?  Which name will I want?

I miss being called 'love'.  I miss being called 'ratdog'.  Most of all, I miss being called 'aubs'.  And maybe I miss the closeness of those who have the right to call me those names over the names themselves. 

To put it simply . . . College : Day Three.

 

words I wish were written for me

"I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything."

F. Scott Fitzgerald

via

Hummingbird

Why does the hummingbird hum?

Because he forgot the words.

Dear Stuart, Jon, and Aferdit,

Why were we not better friends during high school?  Particularly my Senior year.  I feel like we could have been The Four Musketeers.  Anyhow, thanks for the fun and adventurous night!  Let's get together the next time we're all in town?  Great.

Love always,

Aubs

this picture is making me very happy tonight

On my porch

I had already dozed off when I was told to check my porch.  The most perfect surprise.

Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be

I am like a butterfly.  All about transformation, with beauty that is not immediate.  Still in my own cocoon, I wonder how my wings will look like when I immerge and where I will migrate to in my flutter and flight.

Everything is going just fine.  Then with no rhyme or reason, it is as if someone flipped a switch.  And I would rather have the stomach flue than live under the same roof.

Rocky Mouth Trail

A trail run that soon transformed into a hike.  A hidden waterfall.  Good conversation.  The awaited hot air balloon festival.  Cruising.  Music.  An Asiago cheese bagel with cranraspberry cream cheese.  Screaming.  Laughter.

And all of this before nine o' clock in the morning.  Love you, Kristen.

Musica

My best memories involve music.  As a little girl, dancing around the living room while my mom played the piano.  The sound settings on my childhood keyboard brought me countless hours of entertainment.  Making the clogs on my feet match the beat of the music.  Playing the street pianos with Kristen into the summer night.  Feeling embarrassed as I forgot the words while I was singing.  Taking a ukulele home with me from Hawaii.  I once dated a boy and we would take turns making each other mixed cds--the best thing that came from that relationship.

Something about music brings people together.  And I love when people come together for the sake of music.  Concerts.  Or when people come together for the sake of making music.  Jam sessions.  How I appreciate people that appreciate good music.

RISE

What I wish to remember.

read this

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-To-Find-Out-Who-You-Really-Are-by-Anne-Lamott/1

Art

"The work you do while you procrastinate is probably 

the work you should be doing for the rest of your life." 

                             --Jessica Hische

On Repeat

Maybe it's because I am leaving the only city I have ever known in less than a month.  Maybe it's because yesterday I let go of someone I love, unwillingly, but for the best interest of us both.  Or maybe it's simply because I covet Carrie Underwood's looks.

Dreaded Goodbye

I think it is human to anticipate someone leaving.  To push them away before they even go, because you know it is coming.  Avoiding goodbye altogether, by simply avoiding the person.  I have done this myself.  More than once.  And now I find I am the one leaving this fall that is still summer.  I am the one being avoided.  And I must say : Stop.  I am still here.  There is still time.  And on the topic of goodbye I must say : True friendship is not being inseparable, it's being separated and nothing changes.